Posts by Don Hauptman
The Language Perfectionist: Let’s Split this Scene
A contentious issue among language enthusiasts is the use of the split infinitive. Before reviewing the arguments of the two sides, let’s look at a few examples: “It is even possible to legally download textbooks free, thanks to some new sites and services.” “This is a chance to constructively harness the idealism of thousands of…
Read MoreThe Language Perfectionist: Give My Regards
Can you spot any mistakes in these quotations, all found via online search? “How significant are directory listings in regards to SEO?” “I think we are not that much more evolved than ‘primitive’ man in regards to language use concerning spiritual belief.” “What Couples Need to Know With Regards to a Contested Divorce” In The…
Read MoreThe Language Perfectionist: Mixed and Mashed Metaphors
It’s been a while since I wrote about mixed metaphors in this column. So let’s review. A mixed metaphor is a combination of figures of speech that unintentionally results in an incongruous or impossible image. This anecdote supplies a perfect example of the error: A sportswriter interviewing a basketball player asked how his team was…
Read MoreThe Language Perfectionist: The Language Doctrine
In a recent news report, a think-tank executive was quoted as follows: “There is no Obama doctrine because the president is not doctrinaire.” The remark might have been intended as a clever pun, but it’s confusing and misleading. A doctrine is “a principle or body of principles.” Its literal meaning is neutral. Religious doctrines do…
Read MoreThe Language Perfectionist: Fun and Games
Consider these comments, found online: “All the kits in this bundle are so fun.” “Why is college so fun? No parents!” “How fun is your workplace?” In these quotations, the word fun, a noun, is used as if it were an adjective. It’s not good English. Why do people do it? Garner’s Modern American Usage…
Read MoreThe Language Perfectionist: The Sense of Sense
Can you spot anything wrong with these sentences, found online? “A rich mixture of ylang-ylang and palmarosa essential oils creates a sensual aroma.” “Soulful Situations is a sensual sound experience that offers soul, jazz, R&B and beyond.” Article Title: “Heightening the Sensual Experience of a Well-Designed Landscape” In all of the above cases, sensual should…
Read MoreThe Language Perfectionist: Quotation Quota
Every few years, my friend Mardy Grothe assembles a new collection of quotations. The defining characteristic of these anthologies is that all the entries share an interesting or quirky theme. His latest work, Neverisms, just published, is generating a lot of favorable attention in the media and among his many admirers, myself included. A neverism…
Read MoreThe Language Perfectionist: Worldly Goods
Everyone has pet peeves – those irritating verbal tics and bromides that are the linguistic equivalent of fingernails scraping across a blackboard. The following sentences illustrate one of mine: “While we might be a bit partial to the Lamborghinis, the Aston Martins and the Bugattis of the world, we’d be foolish not to openly admit…
Read MoreThe Language Perfectionist: Another Spell
I recently wrote a column on what may be the 14 most common misspellings in the English language. But additional candidates can readily be found. In a newspaper article about automated parking garages, the word palate was used repeatedly for pallet. A pallet is “a portable platform used for storing or moving cargo or freight.”…
Read MoreThe Language Perfectionist: Ambiguous Alerts
It’s time once again for a roundup of ambiguities in the media. That is, badly written sentences that puzzle, confuse, or mislead readers because they lack clarity and can be interpreted in more than one way. Check your writing to ensure that you don’t commit this common error. I found the following examples in my…
Read MoreThe Language Perfectionist: Of Course This Point Is Important
The expression of course looks innocent, but it can create problems. Writers and speakers casually insert the phrase to indicate that something is obvious or self-evident. In most cases, it’s perfectly acceptable. But in others, it can sound insulting or patronizing. The Penguin Dictionary of American English Usage and Style, by Paul W. Lovinger, has…
Read MoreThe Language Perfectionist: Amusing April Acronyms
A few months ago, I wrote a serious column about acronyms. Now April Fools’ Day provides an appropriate occasion to explore the humorous possibilities of acronyms and initialisms. You say you didn’t know that abbreviations can be funny? Sure you do! This is a phenomenon that everyone has encountered or practiced. We acronymically “redefine” familiar…
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