Posts by Dr. Joanne Stern

Anybody can lose their cool, blow up, and yell… But it takes skill to have a productive fight and come out the other end with a positive result. You need tools with which to argue so you don’t damage your relationship in the middle of a quarrel. Marilyn and Robert started to argue in my office while discussing a marital…

Last month, I shared with you five important ways you can nurture your children throughout their lives and help them feel good about themselves while also strengthening the family bonds. This month we will continue with five more nurturing acts that affect your children. Every morning Curt met his dad for coffee before they each went into their offices on opposite sides…

As Carter was packing up to leave his parents’ house after a weeklong visit with his wife and kids, his mom called to him from the kitchen. “Are you sure you checked your room to make sure you didn’t forget anything? You always leave something behind.” From the bedroom Carter rolled his eyes, gave his wife a frustrated…

Parents and engineers have at least one thing in common. They both like to find solutions. They like to fix things. When I’m consulting with a family, it’s obvious to me when parents give unwanted advice to their kids. But when I go home, I fall prey to the same temptations as most parents. I sometimes tell…

The tension in the room was palpable… The members of the Olander family sat in a circle of chairs. All except the oldest son, Adam. He was conspicuously absent. The family members and I were gathered because there were problems in the family business… and they were spilling over into the family’s personal relationships. Charlie,…

What would you do if your son were about to marry a woman who was a bad fit for him and your family? That’s the dilemma Ted and Marta faced. Their 25-year-old son, Jake, was going to ask his girlfriend to marry him… and they didn’t approve. Sure, Jake’s girlfriend was pretty, educated and she had a good job.…