The F Word
“Th‘ best thing about a little judicyus swearin‘ is that it keeps th‘ temper.’Twas intended as a compromise between runnin‘ away an’ fightin‘.” – Finley Peter Dunne
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language is the word “fuck.” Just by its sound, it can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.
In language, “fuck” falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb — both transitive (“John fucked Mary”) and intransitive (“Mary was fucked by John”). It can be used as the object of an action verb (“John really gives a fuck”) or a passive verb (“Mary really doesn’t give a fuck”). It can be an adjective (“Mary is fucking interested in John”) or a noun (“Mary is a terrific fuck”). It can also be used as an interjection (“Fuck! I’m late for my date with Mary”). It can even be used as a conjunction (“Mary is easy; fuck, she’s also stupid”).
As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of “fuck.”
Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used in many situations:
* Greetings: “How the fuck are ya?”
* Fraud: “I got fucked by the car dealer.”
* Resignation: “Oh, fuck it!”
* Trouble: “I guess I’m fucked now.”
* Aggression: “Fuck you!”
* Disgust: “Fuck me.”
* Confusion: “What the fuck ?”
* Difficulty: “I don’t understand this fucking shit!”
* Despair: “Fucked again ”
* Pleasure: “I couldn’t be any fucking happier!”
* Displeasure: “Fucking shit, man ”
* Lost: “Where the fuck are we?”
* Disbelief: “UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!”
* Retaliation: “Up your fucking ass”
* Denial: “I didn’t fucking do it, I swear!”
* Perplexity: “I know fuck about it.”
* Apathy: “Who really gives a fuck anyway?”
* Suspicion: “Who the fuck are you?”
* Panic: “Let’s get the fuck out of here!”
* Directions: “Fuck off.”
* Incomprehension: “How the fuck did you do that?”
It can be an anatomical description: “He’s a fucking asshole.”
It can be used to tell time: “It’s five fucking 30.”
It can be used in business: “How did I wind up with this fucking job?”
It can be maternal: “Motherfucker!”
It can be political: “Fuck Newt Gingrich!”
Lastly, it has been used by many notable people throughout history:
“What the fuck was that?” (the mayor of Hiroshima)
“Where did all these fucking Indians come from?” (General Custer)
“Where the fuck is all this water coming from?” (the captain of the Titanic)
“Who the fuck’s gonna find out?” (Richard Nixon)
“Heads are going to fucking roll!” (Anne Boleyn)
“Any fucking idiot could understand that.” (Albert Einstein)
“It does so fucking look like her!” (Picasso)
“How the fuck did I work that out?” (Pythagoras)
“You want what on the fucking ceiling?” (Michelangelo)
“Fuck a duck.” (Walt Disney)
“What do you mean, ‘why’? Because it’s fucking there!” (Sir Edmund Hillary)
“Scattered fucking showers my ass!” (Noah)
[Ed. Note. Mark Morgan Ford was the creator of Early To Rise. In 2011, Mark retired from ETR and now writes the Palm Beach Letter. His advice, in our opinion, continues to get better and better with every essay, particularly in the controversial ones we have shared today. We encourage you to read everything you can that has been written by Mark.]